I might as well give up. What am I doing here? I don’t know what I am doing. Totally shocked I realized that a strong comment of disagreement by a stranger had almost made me quit my business.
My earliest memory of trusting someone’s opinion more than mine is when I was in grade one. My teacher criticized the way I had colored circles. In order to fit in, also out of fear of being publicly shamed again, I started to do things the way authorities wanted me to. Again and again I went against my better judgement to please others. Increasingly, I forgot what made me happy and what I wanted. I bought into the idea that others know me better than I do. I did what was expected of me. When I listened to myself and made decisions that made me happy, my family shook their heads in disbelief.
I stopped asking why. I didn’t question the status quo. I accepted that this is how things were done.
I have ignored my own judgments in order to avoid critique, conflict and confrontation. I am in the process of unlearning this behaviour slowly, very slowly.
However, my business and my place in my familial and personal relationships are built upon my authenticity, if they weren’t they wouldn’t be mine. So, trusting my own decisions and staying true to myself is crucial.
I know me, you know you.