NEXT STEP BLOG

You should know what I need

You should know what I need

Let's be honest. We expect our partner to know how we feel.To always understand us. To accommodate our needs. Which is impossible. They can’t read our minds. We don’t even know how we feel or what we want many times. Yet we try harder and harder to make our partner...

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How we break promises we never made

How we break promises we never made

It doesn’t make a difference for me which car you buy he said. She had really liked a black sports car. It surprised her just how much she wanted to drive that car. Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes. You never get excited about the things that I like she thought....

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Why can’t you ever take a joke?

Why can’t you ever take a joke?

He teased her. Ha, ha very funny, she thought but she couldn’t say it. She knew it was a joke. Yet she felt criticized. The opportunity to react differently, slipped through her tired fingers. With anyone else she could have laughed. Not with him. Every time he jokes...

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When seeking love makes you blind

When seeking love makes you blind

Most of my life I thought that my Dad doesn’t love me. Over the years I tried to impress him, show off my accomplishments in order to get him to say it. He never did. I had been so convinced that he didn’t love me that I had missed so many signs. He is a very quiet,...

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Why are you always so sensitive about everything?

Why are you always so sensitive about everything?

“What’s wrong with me”? whispers the familiar voice in her head. “I will never get this right. It will never change. I will always be too sensitive, too much.” She wants to run away but she can’t hide from herself. She is lying in bed, beating herself up. Her partner...

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Why would anyone ever cross this bridge?

Why would anyone ever cross this bridge?

We were standing in a public washroom. My hands and knees where shaking. I was close to tears. I was overtaken with fear. All I wanted to do was take off all the climbing gear and walk away. “Mama, you hiked up a mountain when you where three years old, you can do...

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Is it time to take off those old boots?

Is it time to take off those old boots?

I have beautiful, brown, high heeled, lace up winter boots my sister gave me. In those boots I feel tall and elegant, I love the way I feel when I wear them. My knees and hips don’t. Yet, I keep wearing them. The pain prompted me to think about wanting to follow in...

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Are you attaching labels to others or yourself?

Are you attaching labels to others or yourself?

Growing up in Austria, I often heard people making fun of the way people in the south of my province Styria, speak. In my mind, making fun of them separated us, believing that we Northerners are better and different. I never thought too much about it, until I moved to...

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Encouragement versus Feedback

Encouragement versus Feedback

Expectantly the seven year old girl showed the family friend, a visual artist her drawing. She felt great about her creation.“Nice, but look at those lines, they should all go into the same direction” he said and drew them differently. She was shocked and offended...

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Sometimes a couch isn’t just a couch

Sometimes a couch isn’t just a couch

The couch in our house is old, worn out and uncomfortable. Yet, I have been having a very hard time replacing it with a new one. Surprisingly, as I was talking about throwing out the couch my eyes welled up with tears. I know that I need to replace it. But I don't...

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Is hard work necessary?

Is hard work necessary?

Only hard work is valued and appreciated in our society. Remember the last time you told someone that a project was easy, like child’s play? I bet the first reaction was envy. Then it turned into skepticism. It was implied that you didn’t do a thorough job. That you...

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Are your feelings lost in translation?

Are your feelings lost in translation?

Have you ever tried to explain to someone how you feel and they just couldn’t relate? You use different examples to clarify the depth of your feeling, yet they still can’t get you. It feels like you are talking in a different language. Even though they want to...

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Jealousy is a good thing

Jealousy is a good thing

What? I can hear your responses. No, jealousy is not a good thing. Jealousy is despicable. We shouldn’t want somebody else's success or possessions.Wait! Hear me out. We all grew up with those sentiments. It was really bad to want your sisters doll, it was even worse...

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I didn’t see that coming

I didn’t see that coming

One morning this spring I woke up to a text message letting me know that my place of work  had burned down overnight.It felt unreal, surreal. It was real. Imagine my shock, my worry about my future and everyone affected by this. I was sobbing and my hands were...

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A Tornado of feelings

A Tornado of feelings

Yesterday night at 3:05 I woke up and found out that there was a tornado in the city my youngest son had just recently moved to. My heart started racing, and I felt like someone hit me in the stomach and fear just took over.It was too early to call him and check if he...

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A simple way to work through anger

A simple way to work through anger

I try to avoid anger as much as possible, yet recently I was very angry. I felt the anger in my whole body. So, I took a big canvas, my soft pastel crayons and started to draw, big fluid lines. I just picked the colors that jumped at me. I did not even think, I just...

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Not everything needs to be perfect

Not everything needs to be perfect

Not everything needs to be perfect. Not everything must be planned Just start. Let yourself be surprised Let’s just see. One Step at a time. Take the next step. Just start. Don’t overthink it. Be spontaneous. Have fun. Trust your gut. Trust your instincts. Trust your...

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Striving to make mindful choices

Striving to make mindful choices

Do you ever think about what impact a small action can have? When I do, I become overwhelmed thinking about the changes I would have to make. I feel I have to change everything immediately if I don't like it. What would happen if instead I would take a moment,...

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Imagine, Innovate and Disrupt

Imagine, Innovate and Disrupt

While I was driving in Toronto I read Imagine, Innovate and Disrupt on a banner. Those three words jumped out. I quickly jotted them down. Immediately I thought about the word disrupt. It kind of shocked me. Why disrupt? Disruptive feels like a negative word. How does...

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I had no expectations of King Lear

I had no expectations of King Lear

Recently I went to see Shakespeare's King Lear, with Lear played by Seana Mc.Kenna, in Toronto. My son suggested that I should not read the story or do any research before seeing the play. Since English is my second language I was very concerned that I would not...

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