Recently I went to see Shakespeare’s King Lear, with Lear played by Seana Mc.Kenna, in Toronto.
My son suggested that I should not read the story or do any research before seeing the play. Since English is my second language I was very concerned that I would not understand the play, but I trusted Daniel.
I did not understand all the words, however that was not necessary to understand the plot of the story. I was very open und curious about the story and let myself be captured by the very minimalist stage and the captivating and powerful acting.
There is one scene where Lear is crying, wailing, and dragging her slain daughter onto the stage. I was crying quietly with her, while I really wanted to cry and wail out loud with her. At this point in the story she begs the onlookers for a seeing glass to check her daughters breath, in the hope that she is still alive. When she thought that her daughter might still be alive, hope soared in me. I was elated. I felt so happy for her, even though her actions had brought all this about. I wanted her to have a second chance with her daughter.
I hoped that her daughter was still alive.
Her daughter was dead.
I was so touched by the way Seana McKenna expressed the shock, the grief,and the torment of knowing that her daughter was dead and that her actions had caused her death. I felt all these emotions, I experienced her hope, her pain, her sorrow. My heart broke for her. I was touched to the core of my being. This scene changed me, it changed the way I look at my world. If I would have known the story I would have never been touched so deeply by this scene.
This made me realize that expectation, knowing how something is going to happen, limits my experience. It limits me because I think I know what will happen, so I am not open to what could happen, I am not curious, I just focus on one aspect, one possibility.
We always need to know how the story, our story ends, – to feel secure and safe.
Few people like knowing the end of a book, a movie or a story. Assumptions take away the exploration, the excitement of our experiences. Therefore minimizing the understanding of our personal journey.
Why would I watch a movie if I know the end already? Perceived Knowledge and expected outcomes provide a false sense of security and take away the fun off discovering, exploring and the joy of surprises.
Due to this realization, I am attempting to be even more open to surprises. I am not as quick to make assumptions in conversations, and everything does not have to be planned to a T anymore. I am now,experiencing the freedom to change my mind and make more personal decisions. This leads to an awareness of possible choices and opportunities.
While the lack of detailed planning can be stressful, the extra freedom, fun, and unexpected surprises outweigh the stress.
This expanded view has lead me to have some interesting conversations, unique experiences,and has helped me meet new people. I have noticed that I feel more self confident,self reliant ,and more adventurous. This resulted in feeling more competent in making quick decisions and and trusting my intuition.
Overall I am now happier, more joyful and relaxed.
Who would have ever expected, that the advise of a seventeen year old could change my life so much?