Do you worry what other people think of you?
Karin Goldgruber
Ever since I can remember I worried what others thought or said about me. I would lie in bed and recall every part of a conversation, wondering how I had been perceived. When I mentioned that I felt hurt or attacked by someone’s comments I often heard:” Don’t take it personal, it was just a joke.” Yet it didn’t feel like a joke. It felt very personal.
Like other Highly Sensitive People, HSP’s, I notice subtle clues, like a tone of voice, facial expression, body language or specific words. Often I read between the lines, when nothing is written. I had a big mental folder of real and imagined hurtful comments, insensitive jokes and stupid, thoughtless remarks.
Because I remembered all those incidences I started to expect being laughed at or made fun of. I felt uncomfortable around other people, worried too much and put too much weight on the opinions of others.
I became too sensitive, too emotional and took everything too serious. I was ready to defend myself and often overreacted. Soon many handled me with kids gloves afraid of hurting my feelings, afraid of my strong reactions.
I started to doubt my perceptions. I became more and more quiet, retreating to the safety of books.
I never felt comfortable just asking someone what they meant. I dislike confrontation just as many other HSP’s do. Fear of looking stupid held me back of finding out what I didn’t understand.
Again and again I jumped to wrong conclusions, based on old hurts, wrong beliefs I had formed over time. I didn’t know how to give someone the benefit of the doubt.
Feeling stressed and overwhelmed most of the time when in company, it never occured to me that those who I considered rude and thoughtless might be as worried, afraid or insecure as I was.
It took me a long time to change those ingrained behaviours and reactions. Through awareness, consistent stress reduction and using EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques I feel more comfortable to question someone’s comments and making sure we are talking about the same thing.
I am now gentler and more forgiving with myself and others.
Text and Photo by Karin Goldgruber
Karin Goldgruber writes about life as a Highly Sensitive Person HSP, how to reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm and how to find authentic answers to your life questions.
She is a Certified Emotional Freedom Techniques practitioner who specializes in working with HSPs who experience problems in their relationship and life because of this innate trait.
As a Highly Sensitive Person herself she has overcome many challenges and obstacles and encourages and empowers others to do the same.
www.karingoldgruber.com
About the Author
Karin is a proud mother of two, a business owner, an immigrant, an avid hiker, a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and many other things. Growing up in Austria, she always felt she was different from others around her, but never quite knew why. It was only in her 40’s that Karin discovered the term HSP, what it meant, and how it applied to her. Gaining this new perspective has helped Karin to better understand herself and how others see her. Soon after learning about HSP’s, Karin learned about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), which she has found is very helpful in addressing negative beliefs about herself and her past experiences. With her blogs and her business, Next Step Coaching, Karin seeks to help others learn more about HSPs, themselves, their beliefs about themselves, and to achieve the growth that she herself was able to realize by applying EFT. When writing her Blogs and working with clients, Karin does not seek to provide the answers, but rather to help her readers and clients find their own personal solutions for their unique circumstances.
Karin is a proud mother of two, a business owner, an immigrant, an avid hiker, a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and many other things….
Growing up in Austria Karin is a proud mother of two, a business owner, an immigrant, an avid hiker, a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and many other things. Growing up in Austria, she always felt she was different from others around her, but never quite knew why. It was only in her 40’s that Karin discovered the term HSP, what it meant, and how it applied to her. Gaining this new perspective has helped Karin to better understand herself and how others see her. Soon after learning about HSP’s, Karin learned about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), which she has found is very helpful in addressing negative beliefs about herself and her past experiences. With her blogs and her business, Next Step Coaching, Karin seeks to help others learn more about HSPs, themselves, their beliefs about themselves, and to achieve the growth that she herself was able to realize by applying EFT. When writing her Blogs and working with clients, Karin does not seek to provide the answers, but rather to help her readers and clients find their own personal solutions for their unique circumstances.
