Most of my life I thought that my Dad doesn’t love me. Over the years I tried to impress him, show off my accomplishments in order to get him to say it. He never did.
I had been so convinced that he didn’t love me that I had missed so many signs.
He is a very quiet, gentle man, an HSP Highly sensitive person, like myself. He doesn’t wear his feelings on his sleeves. Yet he demonstrated his love for us every day, by the things he did for us. I was so caught up in my expectations, my wanting, my demanding that he would say it. I couldn’t see his love and adoration for me.
It has been a long process for me to let go of those expectations. I wouldn’t accept being loved, appreciated and acknowledged, unless it was my way.
I simply started to end each phone conversation with,”I like you”. Not expecting anything in return. For the longest time there was no answer, he either hung up or handed the phone to my mom. One day his answer was Thank you. Now, I knew he heard me.
We expect our parents and partners to love us the way we are, but we don’t love them the way they are. Are we just hypocrites until we accept them and love them the way they are? Maybe it is about accepting us first?
Maybe it is about accepting and allowing them to be who they are? Maybe it is about giving without expecting anything in return?